Hi, I’m Christine.
And you are?…
Okay, well, I guess this is the point where I should tell you something about myself, something compelling that will make you want to continue reading. This reminds me of those ice-breakers where everyone in the room is supposed to say something really interesting about themselves? You know the one. God, I *hate* that game. I can never come up with anything good. There are two people in the room that everyone remembers after that ice breaker… THIS guy…
or THIIISSS guy…
I always spend the rest of whatever event I am at avoiding Mitch (come on, you know he’s a pompous ass) and feeling bad for Bob. Not so bad that I want to get chummy with Bob or anything. I mean, who wants to converse with a man whose most interesting characteristic is his cheese fetish? But I always end up imagining the day that Bob eventually discovers that there are other people in this world who also love cheese, and upon this discovery he will immediately realize how uninteresting he is and throw himself out a first floor window.
So, if you don’t mind, I’d rather not embarrass myself by trying to come up with some appropriately witty factoid about myself in order to win your admiration. Writing a blog is inherently self-serving. But I am not writing a blog to brag about myself, to proselytize, or to wax poetic about serious topics like politics, religion, or the environment. I’m not here to teach you anything or try to make either of us a better person.
I am writing a blog because shit happens that I think is worth writing down and sharing.
I hope to make you giggle, and sometimes to scratch your head because, dude, this world is weird.
Now you may be asking, why is your blog called What the Front Door? Well, I really wanted to name it “Much Ablog About Nothing” but that is taken. Not being used, mind you, just taken. (<– annoying) So then I was going to name it Thumb Twiddles. But I couldn’t decide if one is twiddling one’s thumbs, can it be broken down into individual twiddles? I thought there was a good chance that question would continue to bother me, so I figured I should come up with something else. Then I remembered an exchange on Facebook between my cousin Kelly and her mom, my aunt Margo.
Kelly: Okay, I’ve made the break. I no longer have a hair stylist. (sniff sniff)
Margo: WHAT the front door……………..?
Kelly: I think it would just be what the front. But then that doesn’t make any sense does it?
Margo: What the front……………you told me it was what the front door, now I don’t know what to do. 😦
Kelly: Mom, it’s “shut the front door”. Supposedto sound like “shut the f!ck up”. Therefore what the front would sound like what he f!!k. You have quite the potty mouth!
Margo: Oh, I give up. I’m going back to Sofa King.
I don’t know about you, but that made me laugh. And we all need a laugh every now and then… So, “what the front door?” it is. I hope you like it!