"Real" Food Can Be Real Gross

Okay, I know that should say “really” gross, but it didn’t have the same ring to it that way. Throw me a bone. Oh, speaking of bones…

I was inspired by Tina at Carrots ‘N’ Cake to make salmon-quinoa burgers and roasted Brussels sprouts for dinner tonight. (I am still very much in the copy cat phase of cooking.) Looked easy enough, I love salmon, I had a little bit of quinoa left, and I’ve been dying to roast Brussels sprouts. (<– speaking of which, I only learned *just now* that it’s “Brussels” sprouts and not “brussel” sprouts. Who knew?
Probably everyone but me.)  So I headed out to Trader Joe’s and picked up a can of wild Alaskan salmon, Brussels sprouts, and some other odds and ends.

Fast forward to tonight.

After getting my little K-Dub to bed, I set the oven for 400 degrees, coated my Brussels sprouts with olive oil and salt, tossed them in the oven and set the timer for 35 minutes.  I took my older son, J-Man, upstairs to get ready for bed, and when the timer went off, I ran down to check the brussel Brussels sprouts, and they looked like this.

Feeling increasingly discouraged, I finished putting J-Man down for bed and went down to make the salmon burgers. I opened the can of salmon and dumped the contents into a glass bowl. Immediately, I could tell something wasn’t right. (at least to me.)  Right there on top of the salmon mountain sat… a… vertebra. A little tiny perfectly round and hollow vertebra. My mind starts racing, thinking how this vertebra must have slipped through on accident and ended up in my can of salmon, thinking I can just pinch it off, throw it out, and move on. But then I noticed more.  Had I bought wild Alaskan salmon dog food on accident? I picked up the can and looked at the label.

Son of a…

So, I started picking through the salmon, and there was a whole friggin spinal column in there. A *spinal column*. This may not surprise you, but I was *this close* to vomiting. But hey, if this is how they sell the stuff, it must be okay.  Right?

So, finally I (am reasonably confident that I) got them all out and I went on making my salmon-quinoa burgers. Added my quinoa, chopped and added celery and balsamic vinegar, mixed in an egg, then started making it into patties, dipping in breadcrumbs, and cooking. I got my five patties perfectly arranged in the pan and was feeling pretty good. But. Clearly along the way I erred, because my patties just would *not* stay in patty form. They were crumbly and falling apart and finally I got frustrated and just mashed it all together. I figured what the heck, it should taste the same, right?

In the end, I ended up preparing what I call “Hopefully Backbone-less Salmon-Quinoa Burgers Mash with Roasted Blackened brussel Brussels Sprouts with Barbecue Sauce”. And guess what?

It tasted great!

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2 Responses to "Real" Food Can Be Real Gross

  1. Cherry Lane says:

    Such dedication! I'm pretty sure I would have called it quits at the first vertebra. And congrats on your (unplanned) foray into recipe alterations.

  2. Kath (Eating for Living) says:

    Hahaha, this post was delightful! I'm happy it tasted great in the end! Better tasty and funny looking than the other way round. 😉

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