The World Is Spinning, and I Kinda Like It

Usually I am not a fan of serious pain medication. When I had shoulder surgery six-ish years ago, I always took the minimum pain medication, just enough to take the edge off. One time I took two pills, and I felt so dizzy and hated it. I sat on the couch for two hours just wishing for it to stop.

That was then, this is now.

I have a little system in place to make sure that I don’t miss any medication doseages. My doctor said whatever I do, I need to make sure I don’t miss a dose of pain medication. If I do, it will feel like my throat is swelling up and I will probably have more panic attacks. So what I’ve been doing is setting alarms with my iphone. Each time I take a medicine, I reset the alarm for 4-6 hours later. Also, I took one of my eleventy hundred half-used spiral notebooks and made it into a medication journal. Each time I take a dose, I wrote it down in the notebook. So between the notebook telling me what I have already taken, and the alarms telling me what I take next, I feel pretty well covered.

So, this morning at 8:30, my throat was hurting pretty bad, so I grabbed my iphone to see when the next dose was. Gasp! I hadn’t reset my alarm! The iphone still said my next dose was at 6:20 in the morning. I ran over to my spiral notebook to see if I had taken the 6:20 dose, and guess what… nothing. I hadn’t written it down.  I remember my alarm going off at 6:20, and I remember getting up, but had no memory of actually taking my medicine. Immediately, my throat started closing up on me, and I felt like I was suffocating. Suddenly every swallow felt like razor blades. It was probably psychosomatic, but it felt very real.

I called the on-call doctor who said I should take another dose, that taking an extra dose just one time wouldn’t hurt me. So I did, and within 20 minutes, the pain had subsided. But I was trying to type on the computer and my fingers felt like Idaho potatoes. My tongue feels too big for my mouth. Everything is spinning. That’s when I realized I had definitely taken a double-dose of medicine. The memory of my 6:20 dose came back to me. I’d had a bowl of applesauce and contemplated actually making breakfast, but decided against it and went back to bed.

Usually I hate this feeling. Usually I prefer pain over the feeling of dizziness and loss of self control. But not now. Right now I am just so thankful to not be suffocating. So I sit here on the couch, the world spinning around me. My mind is mush and my feet feel like Jello. I’d love to take a shower but I’m afraid I will melt. This must be what it feels like to do recreational drugs.

I think I will sit here and enjoy this for a little longer, until it wears off and the razor blade feeling returns.

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10 Responses to The World Is Spinning, and I Kinda Like It

  1. I’m so glad you’re posting updates so we can keep up with your recovery! And glad the surgery went well. Hope you feel much better very soon!! 🙂

    Enjoy all that ice cream, I am jealous that you have an excuse to eat tons of it!! 😉 Ice cream is one of my very favorite treats!

  2. merf says:

    I just had a bowl of ice cream at 11:30 AM. Shhh, don’t tell!!!

  3. oh gosh! I’m glad you made it out of surgery in one piece (or should I say 2-3 pieces.. they did steal your tonsils after all!) and are enjoying your loopy-ness for a bit =) hehe! told you that you were a champ! mwah!

  4. OMG, the feeling of an upcoming panic attack when your throar is swelling up is so bad! It’s the panic of suffocation. I just hope you’ll feel better soon! You’ll do for sure! 🙂

  5. Rach says:

    Oh my goodness, how scary! I’m glad you were able to take the extra dose and feel better for now.

  6. That’s so scary! I haven’t had too many experiences with pain meds. I took some Vicodin after I got my wisdom teeth out but stopped taking it after a day or two. The only thing I remember was that my brother asked me if he could bring it to school and sell it. He was kidding- I think 🙂

  7. Hannah says:

    You poor, poor thing. I know exactly how you feel, as I grew up in a household that was all about stoicism in the face of pain, and it was only this year, after my second lot of toe surgery, that I really embraced painkillers. Until then, I’d never experience throwing up from pain before… and I hope I never do again! *hugs* for a speedy recovery!

  8. J.D. says:

    I’ve been using Rxmindme (a free iPhone app) to keep track of my various meds — it handles a variety of reminder types, and can even keep track of how many pills are (supposed to be) left in the bottle. Very useful.

  9. Kristina says:

    How scary!!! I’m glad you’re posting updates-glad surgery went well!!!! Sending quick recovery vibes your way!

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